W i t h L o v e

is my life always lyk tat?its fated to b lyk taT?I hate it.i make ppl cry bcz of me.now den i realise ppl don believe me..dont trust me..i dont care bout you all but the person i care most?i trusted most?i thot they too will understand me..but its just an illusion..its wat i believe..things were not wat i made them out to b..haix..cant sleep the whole nite..kept thinking abt it..my eyes hurt frm crying too much..i hope she will forgive me..aku tak berniat sey..but its lyk i cant accept the fact tat she dont believe me no more..so i just shouted at her back.God..i sounded so unfilial..wat had i become?haix..conscience tugging at at me...o feel so guilty.but if i dont get my points acrosss, she will still think tat im always not admitting to my faults.den all tis while i am the one hu alwx ask fer forgiveness..even if she is in the wrong,wat cn i do?she will jz ignore it?haix..i dont get the point wat the hell she wants..and i alwx thot tat she would be there for me..and she will understand me.so why does thing happens?okies..its my bloody mouth..but i havent finish my sentence and she juz assume that i accuse her of giving me pressure.HELLO?its alwx her to think tat way..its alwx me hu is the in the wrong..but wat abt her?she's good at pointing other ppls' fault but hers?oh God..is she so perfect?i noe im in the wrong but its too much fer me to take..she makes me sound lyk a bad person in front of everybody..oh yea~tat will boost my confidence aite?you wanna me to change..fine..i did change..so how come u didnt see it?jz how much do you want me to change?cant i jz be myself?and must you bring up the past?must you?cz the past embarass me..you belive her more than u belive me..and you dont have a clue tat it hurts me..alot..the person tat you alwx criticized and badmouthed is the person there for me..
fine..if tat's the change tat u want,i will do it..rather thanyou treat me lyk a piece of unwanted clothing..it hurts me real deep
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you said tat you trust her more den you do to me..Fine..i dont take a f***ing care abt it..i noe i shld b the one to understand you all aite?you will nid me for comfort or even treat me lyk an information counter?..wat kind of fren is tis?thx to you all, i learnt to keep everything to myself..all this while i thot you lot trust me, believe me and even understand me..so wat is tis?all tis while i think you have even forgotten abt me..so tis is a fren huh?wen you called, i actualli wanted to shout "i miss you so much..!" but i screwed it up..God..jz bcoz you keep on living ur own life..yea..you gt ur own life to lead..so jz forget abt me..i jz wanna tell you..-Fren, i miss you so much..i miss those tym i had wit you together..we cn jz simply sit down and talk lyk there's nobodyto care abt..i realli miz those tym wen im troubled i could jz simply called you up and i noe you will listen.Now where has all this tym goes?it will jz be left as memories of mine..pls don rob me of my happiness..i want the old you back..
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my love life sucks..wat's the use of clinging onto sumting tat nvr exist?i donoe y but is it wrongto give on the things tat made u smile?Fine..if tat's the way you wanted it to be den i will very much move on wit my life.And thx for making me not to trust guys animore..and thx to youim paranoid abt losing a frenship i hv treasure so much..so bye then..

sigh.