W i t h L o v e

haiz.sometimes i do feel that watever i had done is jz come to naught.not a little simple thank you is there.and worse,its not the onli person i had the unpleasent experience with.today,wen i sat down andd realli think things through;i felt that the world is full of selfish people. what i meant was like i dont realli care bout what the world hs or watever.but the people surrounding me?gosh.i realli donoe wat to sae and do.i jz realli felt like breaking down.but watever for?to me now,wat for cry of a stupid reason?sometyms i felt that ive lost everything wit jz sumthing stupid i did.yea.i lost.and its hard to regain it.realli.in example would be the trust people had in me.i had their 100% trust before.but den something happened.and i seemed to have lost them forever.but wat cn i do?its their trust on me.not mine.though i can say that they had regained the trust back.its jz nt the same.sometyms i felt like im a complete stranger.i feel that i dont belong at all.erm.i used to be that close and felt that i belonged in a grp of friends.but now...yea.im close and all that.but sometyms i jz felt insecure.wad would happen wen i made another stupid mistake?even my closest friend doesnt gave that 100% trust that i wanted.haiz.and at that point of time,i had that special somene beside me.my ex.yea.cn be said that he was my first love and all that.he made believed that those dreams i had can be a reality.and he also made me trust that the relationship between us would werk out.i had believed all that.he made me feel secure and safe.he was my listening ear.he,at that point of tym was everything to me.so if things were werking well and all that,why did i choose to leave hym?cz i was hurt.that the person hu made me trust and believed had actualli the crime of not being truthful.AND.he made a promise.but dinch fulfill it.in the first place WHY does he made the promise that he cnt fulfill?it hurts.and i had warned hym bout it.that`s worse.haiz.but wat to do.i jz cant seem to forget hym.and i feel that i dont wanna be in a relationship animore.it hurts.to love somenone wit all ur heart is giving the person a chance to make u hurt.i cant bear the hurt it takes.realli.i felt that im gonna be loner soon. a wanderer.or watever u called it.im lyk so alone.now,nobody realli noes me.it used to be that at least my sis[halimah]will noe wats gg on wit me.but.our relationship...its jz nt wat it used to be.

behind every other sunshine of mine,there` dark shadows.
too fidah.;yar.i noe u said something bout those sweet memories `overpowering` the hurt.but.i jz..donoe.guessed i wasnt ready.